


Inspector Flash

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Blackadder, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's a loud-mouthed, red-blooded sexist who makes Gene Hunt look like a limpwristed pansy. She's a newly-promoted Detective Sergeant with a touching belief in suspects' rights and innocence until proven guilty. They fight crime... well, when they can find the time for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inspector Flash

**Author's Note:**

> A random generator asked me the innocuous question: '[Sarah Jane Smith] and [Flashheart] are now buddy cops. Do they make a good team, and is this bad or good news for nearby criminals?'

"I'd ask how I was," Inspector the Lord Flashheart said, pulling on his shirt. "Only it'd be a complete waste of time, because I'm always the best. Disagree with that if you can." 

"I can't," his sergeant murmured. As usual, her feminist conscience was reproving her for succumbing once again to the charms of an unreconstructed chauvinist braggart, while the rest of her body was assuring her that he had made good on every last boast. She raised herself on her elbows. "Sir, I've been thinking." 

"A girl who can think?" Flashheart retrieved his trousers. "Was that a _pig_ that just flew past the window?" 

Sarah threw a pillow at him. "About the Travis alibi." She forced herself to climb out of the bed and start retrieving her own scattered garments. "You think Mrs Travis is our murderer, don't you?" 

"I know when a woman isn't satisfied in her marriage." 

Sarah was unable to resist a smile. "Usually because she's just met you." 

"Woof!" 

"The thing is—" Sarah broke off. "Have you seen my knickers anywhere?" 

"Just about everywhere, Smith, as you well know. But this time, try on top of the standard lamp. Have to be more careful about that sort of thing, sergeant," he added, as Sarah retrieved them. "One day you'll leave them at a crime scene, and I'll be forced to take them down as evidence. Woof! What were you going to say about Mrs Travis?" 

"Her alibi depends on Hopkins' evidence. We thought he didn't have any reason to lie. But that phone number in Lawson's diary we couldn't trace? I knew I'd seen it before. It's Hopkins'. They know each other." 

"So Hopkins knew Lawson. So what? If he was with Mrs Travis he couldn't have done the murder, any more than she could." 

"No, but Lawson could, couldn't he?" Sarah pulled her blouse on, and tried to smooth out the worst creases. "I think he had some sort of hold over Hopkins. He got him to keep Mrs Travis out of the way, so Travis would be on his own." 

Flashheart considered this. "Maybe. It's enough for us to have a crack at the nasty little scrote, anyway. And get WPC Parkhurst to go through those traffic records again — see if his car was one of the ones traffic patrol saw that night. Actually, on second thoughts, get someone else to go through the records, while I go through WPC Parkhurst. Woof!" 

"Right you are, sir." 

"Too right I am." Flashheart slipped his wristwatch on and gave his reflection a satisfied nod. To Sarah's annoyance, he always came out of their frequent trysts without a hair out of place — whereas she was invariably flushed and dishevelled. "Good work, Smith. Oh, and Smith?" 

"Yes, sir?" 

Flashheart nodded at a heap of fabric by the door. "Trousers." 

Blushing furiously, Sarah kicked off her shoes again and secured the overlooked garment. 

"Forget your own head, one of these days," Flashheart said, as he closed the door of Sarah's flat behind the pair. "Be a shame, too. Pretty little head like that." 

"Sometimes I don't know how I put up with you, sir." 

Flashheart grinned. "It's a wild guess, but maybe the mind-blowing sex from the greatest detective on the force?" 

Despite herself, Sarah couldn't help smiling back. "You definitely have a point there, sir. Woof!"


End file.
